Founf old stuff while packing.

Helooo ,I'm back :3

I've been real busy with my home and all.Since i'll be moving in on January.

I found some of my old things stuff back in my closet (lol lazy me)

Found a notebook i usally use for school ,doodle and wrote lots of lame stuff in there =W=

here's some of them

Muted words

I look at your eyes,

full with hope and pride,

To have people like you staying by my side.

but,

You look into my eyes,

full with tears and anger,

To have people like me staying by your side.

Why?

Why?

Why the tears ? What've I done?

I could hear you crying.

But all i could do is whisper,whisper those muted words.

All i could do is whisper those muted words.

*end*

Guess wat this meant.. i kinda like it :3

Nineteen minutes

Fifteen years ,

living in a shithole.

Taking the pain everyday.

No complain ,no help.

I shut my mind ,

to shut the pain away.

Those Ten people stood in my way.

I've just wanted it to stop.

Did i ask too much?

Why , Why then u ask?

I answer.

They started it.

and i just wanted it to stop.

INspire by a book Called Nineteen minutes.

*guess wats it's about*

Death from a child

For once ,

I'm so cold.

Your arms felt so warm,

yet your fingers shook.

Your eyes ,

so vibrant blue

held fear and anger

Your hands,

so strong yet delicate,

held the coldness of the blade.

Light as a feather my body felt.
No pain

numb.

Oh.. My..

Is this what death's like ?

DONE! :3

Oh! i found my old drawings too lol..

Chibi Dr aoki

my uber awesome dragon :3

Didn't Regret going to CF : For Real

No matter how many drama and nervous moment i had just to ask my mom about CF.

It paid off !
For real.

I had a Blast with my sis and my group in KL,Sunway Pyramid.

I think my sis made the best decision of her life. :3

She was really hesitating whether she wants to follow me to CF, KL.

Because she's quite busy at the moment,with driving License and all.

Demo .. In the end!! she went with me and had a great time.

To make it clear, I cos for both Day 1 and Day 2.

Day 1 AS Kusuragi Suzaku Emperor ver (Code Geass)

Day 2 AS Lelouch Emperor ver (Code Geass)

Day 1 shoot

Me and my epic group :3

Wonderfull C.C by Megumi

Next is some omake and other group shots :3

me and my bro in a team :3

CF afthemath

After CF, I've met lots of awesome people.

Cosplayers,Guest,Fans,Photographers.

I've met people like Mellisa Yeo! whos a cosplayer ,who debut as Oz of pandora hearts!

She was really friendly and soooo handsome at CF :3

I've met Michelle ,who was a awesome Silent hill Zombie :3 *salute*

I've met Reynolds , Who was a awesome Loveless ! and bishie kagamine len!

I've met Amir Yusof ,who was a amazing photographer for first day photoshoot! Friendly and really warming towards us .

I've met Jason,who's from Selangor , he's a guest from CF ,very friendly! and really happy to hav met him xD .

And soooo on!

the amazing part is that Jesuke came down to CF from singapore!

the all so epic JESUKE!!

she's really cool and a great cosplayer.

Update done!

am sleepy =W=

GAHH!!! Me waNNA.

UWAAA...got sooooo many stuffs i wanna do for cosplay.
Make own props and costume ( maybe seifuku first)

Characther
Vocaloid : Kaito,Gakupo,Rin and Len.
Air Gear : (casual ver)Agito,Ikki (Itsuki),Mikan!
Katekyo Hitman Reborn : Hibari,Chrome,Mukuro,Dino,Byakuran,Tunayoshi
Axis Power hetalia :Preussen ,United Kingdorm,Italy,Spain,Russia
Onimusha : Jubei Akane


Events
Dec 19-20 : Comic fiesta 2009
Held in Kl,Sunway pyramid,Covention hall.

2010
DAte March??? :GACC 10
Held in Malacca

CF 10

Drama ,Drama and more Drama.

I hadn't put up any personal thins into my blog becuz i didn't want to.
But today's a bit diffrent since i cant get it out of my mine.
Its bugging me from juz then till now.

My mom and dad aren't the lovey cuddly type of parents.
Lots of disagreement,old habits , misunderstoods.
Well... its not unusual.
But there are times where things like Argue gone over the line.

I'm not sure if i could ever believe any of what they said.
Since I'm not there in person.
So when my mom comes up to me..with bruises.
I wonder... Was it dad that did that to her?
Then when it's my dad who comes up to me..with bruises.
I can't help and wonder ..Was it mom that did that to him?

I'm not blind and stupid..
And i notice my mom always.. whenever she had something in mind.. whenever she's sad or unhappy or stressed,she would come to me.
And say all the things she had in her mind.
Things like Dad.. dad.. and more dad.
Saying things about my dad.. saying stuff that i can't help but cry over it.
Cuz i wonder if i could believe what she said.
If i do, then i wouldn't be hearing my dad's side of the story *which is very unfair*

So I'm stuck in the middle.. Always.
My dad says "No i didn't do it,don't listen to ur mother"
My mom says "Yes he did,I live with ur dad for 30+ years and ur saying i'm lying?"

My sis 'gave up' on their arguements long ago..
'Gave up' as in.. like she didn't bother to know more,she didn't want to care.
I don't blame her for not dealing with family problems.. since they're so complicated.
I understand.. but still.
I known more things that *maybe* i shouldn't hav known or believe.

I looked at my dad, Who loves to play games,ps2,like playing with us ping pong and all.
I can't imagine him doing those things like betraying our family.
Yes, He smokes and drinks alot.
He has his bad.
I've hated my dad at least two times,when he got home drunk and kick my dog and hit my mom.
but the hate was juz temporary anger.
He hangs out with his friends alot too.
Lends them money which are hard to get back.
He has a big ego.

My mom loves to jump on conclusions.... She misunderstood people sometimes.. never really gave the person *such as my dad* to explain.
But I somehow understand her...
She.. has hard times with my dad,since they didn't get marry willingly.
*flashback*
My mom once told me that they got marry at the age of 22.
My mom was my dad's bf for 5 years if i'm not mistaken.
my dad was a playboy? as u can say that.
His young and plays around.
Doesn't want to commit too much.

Until one day my grandpa was sick.. and old.
He wanted to see my dad get married before he passed away.
So my dad listen and get married .
yea after a few days later, my grandpa well.. passed.

..such a long post with such a sulky subject..
juz gotta let things out since this morning there's another argue.

New wig arrival & future plans.

Okay, around Monday at 10.30 am.
My partner planned to have a meeting with me and Aihui *CF team*
He said Ai hui wanted to test dramatic make-up for CF,since our wig arrive at the same day.
I was really excited for it.*kya*
But again... i got really nervous infront of my mom and hate the feeling that was in my guts.

Maybe..I'm juz scared of rejection,since from young i've always ask my mom whether i could hang out with my friend. The answers are always a big fat "NO"

So u can't blame me when i'm standing in front of my mom..
mouth agape.. no sound errupting.
I just hate the feeling of hope going too high,then after the rejection.u feel like shit.



..BUT..
In the end ,i manage to convince my mom to let me go since it's for Cosplay.
She was not dat happy.. and was very suspisious.

....anyway...

I was drop in my school waiting for my partner.
He picked me up and off we go!

Bad news is... when we went to her home.
She was sick.. fever for three days.
She said she didn't want to dissapoint us and inssict on doing the make-up.
But for her own good, we told her to rest and maybe find another day.
I ask her for some tips on make-up * since i'm don't usually use it*

So we end up juz picking our new wigs,pair of sexy S**aku boots.
*spaz*
~~~ FUTURE PLANS~~

okay.
I've planned to learn and make my own props and costume when I'm still a free middle school student.

Thought ,too say the truth ..I'm more interested in props than costume.
But...I'll not back down from this challenge.
Both would be fun to make since i got my partner to help me xD
*lots of funs*

CF plans are officially a big GO!
since My mom said yes in one condition.
She'll be going with me .( WHO CARES)

.Chirstmas photoshoot.
maybe with Eddron and his team since we're doing the same anime in CF.


Update more later

KANAME☆

yes... that is him....

KYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
☆☆☆☆☆☆KANAME☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

SUGE! I absolutely in respect for this guy!
His from Japan and his quite famous too. *as a cosplayer*

I tell u once i said it twice..
HIS DAT GOOD.

His like a living breathing Cloud and Ichigo and Simon and kaito and ..lots more *awe*

Being 16 sucks sometimes.

Mood : Nervous and Anxious or both.

Sht... I've just told my mom and dad about CF (comic fiesta 2009) .

I told them i made plans about CF.. and i want o go there for cosplaying.

They ask me about it.. where it was held,which i said Sunway Pyramid in KL.

My mom said it was far.WHICH it is.. about 2hours drive.

BUT..Kl and Melaka aren't really that far.(for me)

Anyway... My parents aren't that happy and supportive about the news.

They're hesitating whenther they want to bring me there.

Fk.. I feel sooooooo **** up right now.

I understand they're quite worried for me and my sis. Since I'm onli 16 .

But there are times i wish i was older.

I wish i could Drive.. then i dont need to ask them.

I could juz drive there on my own.

But reality bites back in yer ass.

All i could do now is wait , wait , wait for their anwers.

CAMWHORE PICS

the contact lens here is going to be found in this year CF. xD

doing a Green eye characther. GUESS xD